There is Safety in Hiding

Decay @Kelsi M. Ozbun So it's been almost a year, again. I've been hiding, and living, but mostly hiding. Today I am hiding. The phone rings, three times now, I think, and I just look at it wondering what the other end of the line could possibly want with me. I am hiding at the... Continue Reading →


Trigger Warning *****************I just want to fucking die. Kill. Myself. Over and out. Straight up. Too bad I don't believe in suicide. Too bad I'd rather live in perpetual torture. Too bad death is too easy of an out for me. Too bad ED says I must live. I just want to feel. All the... Continue Reading →

It Was Never Me

I am done. Done eating. Done caring. Done trying. All I want is for that # on the scale to dive. To numb out. Pretend I'M FINE. Be a better liar. So no one asks, So no one knows. I can't do anything right; Nothing to please. No matter how hard I try, It always... Continue Reading →


Tears are on the threshold.One word.  That's all it takes.I F*$#ing hate today.I don't know why.I don't care.My eyes hurt from holding back the tears.What do I have to cry for?Everything is F*&#ing fine and dandy.Normal. 

Learning To Love The Rain

"Everyone wants Happiness, No one wants Pain, But you won't see a Rainbow, Without a little Rain...." That saying is on my calendar this month and I just noticed it! Happy Tuesday People!


I. AM. ANXIOUS. I have been gradually dosing down my meds the last month or so because.... Well, honestly at first it was because I was hypomaniac and felt wonderful and wanted to see how low I could go before mania set in; then it turned into how long can I stay at a lesser... Continue Reading →

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