Who's up for some reduction of self in the new year? Me? Oh, Oh! Me! ME!!!!! Fuck me Fuxk my "self" I don't need to be heard Or talkOr matterOr eatOr exist..... I only live to please others Why do I think it's okay to defend myself? Why do I continually perpetuate fights in which... Continue Reading →
While I realize that most of my posts of late are basically my treatment experience I wanted to say that I am glad to be able to share them. Depressing, anxiety provoking, angst though they may be, these thoughts and experiences are real. These are the things I experienced while at EDCare, a place that... Continue Reading →
Disorderedly took pamprin (diuretics) Walked in circles in the reception area. Went up the stairs once. Shadow even looked fat today. Stomach sticks out. I feel so gross. Didn't complete breakfast (90%). --Thought it would be less. Hips and feet and ankles hurt. Like really bad. Took flexural & ibuprofen & pamprin, but it's not... Continue Reading →
Not a great day mentally for me. Better than last time, but still feeling overwhelmed and it seems worse today. Just returned from the Food Show in Omaha, NE, and while there I contemplated getting a tat. Nothing big, just a simple one-liner that would remind me where I am and where I've come from.... Continue Reading →
I like structure. The grain bins at work are well structured. They fit together like a puzzle and it takes a great force of brute strength or the knowledge of know-how to take them down. Beautifully, intricately laced together pieces of metal. Doesn't seem like it would mean much, but to the creator, it... Continue Reading →
Tears are on the threshold.One word. That's all it takes.I F*$#ing hate today.I don't know why.I don't care.My eyes hurt from holding back the tears.What do I have to cry for?Everything is F*&#ing fine and dandy.Normal.