Talked to the case manager today Sounds like PHP is not going to be an option as I was assessed as needing residential. Now looking into some place south (?) of St. Louis MO And getting no where fast. They asked if I am still losing weight. I was 117 when she assessed me two... Continue Reading →

Well, Apparently, Me

**TWIGGER WARNING** (FOR THE FAINT OF HEART)   I am FUCKING Miserable. I just ate 10 chicken nuggets and 5 fries after 2 apples (Which ED intended to be my supper) and I literally want to cry. But I can't. So I sit here with my brain swirling and fighting and conglomerating with all of... Continue Reading →

10/10 Don’t Recommend

Weighed myself last night and internally teared up. I had already decided to fast most of Saturday because I wasn't happy where I was, but I couldn't get out of eating at the wedding reception...believe me, I tried. So today I ate some breakfast and decided that was that. I'll just be miserable and fat,... Continue Reading →

What is it like?

Emptied Pond. Wrote 2 Posts. Weeded. Intentionally did not eat Then J came home and asked what I ate So I went to Wendys (400). Drinking hot tea and water. Did decent until I ate a PB&J (240) and a whoopie pie (94). Happy mood most of the day. Finished reading Wintergirls.  It was really good.... Continue Reading →

Easier than Meat

Still no news. Griffon drowned in the pond on Tuesday. I don't know what he was doing or why I couldn't hear him. Now he's in an urn on the piano beside Maci. Insurance and ERC are not working very hard at even talking to one another. I'm to the point that I don't even... Continue Reading →


APR3. Still not dead. 500kcal down the throat so far today. If I were more strict I could make that last all day long: 1 Bowl Oatmeal = 130 to 160 x3= 390 to 480 with hot tea several times a day.... to stave off the hunger pangs. 116.2 this morning. MM worked like a dream.... Continue Reading →

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