I’m Not Going to Go

I should be crying I know what I’m doing is wrong I’m only hurting myself By apologizing Accepting all blame But I can’t do anything right It’s all wrong Everything I do is wrong Why can’t I cry It’s numbness All my insides Black and dark and dank and moldy Not a ray of sunlight... Continue Reading →

Just Eat.

June 13, 2016:  I wrote this 5 months ago.  Right before I went on this hiatus I have been on for most of the year.  And this, this is why.......... ******************************* Let's be honest.  Right now I could give two shits less about anything.  I am only writing to process all of this crap in... Continue Reading →

Don’t TElL

*****TRIGGER WARNING***** Not that I wanted to begin the year like this, but hey, to my brain, it's just another day.  I have been struggling with some temptations.  Pretty massive temptations.  The consequences thereof, I am not sure I could handle.  I have NOT given in yet, but the guilt and condemnation that prey upon... Continue Reading →


I am so dimly excited that it is starting to hurt. That's mania setting in again. I feel like I need to catch my breath, or exhale, but I am sitting here breathing normally. That's mania setting in again. I want to study neuro-chemistry and the effects of mental illness on the brain.  In fact,... Continue Reading →

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